The Diva says – Please kill me! No! No! No don’t hesitate my dear, just finish me off! Maar dalo mujhe! How to live if the net world conspires to come between you and me? Sachh, let’s be honest – am I asking you for diamonds? No nah? Or gold? Arrey baba, I am not even asking you to gift me a pair of Prada sunglasses. Nahin, our rishta is too pure for such cheap demands.
I confess the truth, my deepest desire is only to be connected to you, to be close to you, really kareeb – so please, I beg you ji, just get a good 3G, 4G or Wi-Fi connection. That’s all I ask. Then we can truly live together happily ever after – the perfect jodi sanctified by a holy band (width). I promise you, kasam se, from my side I am also really pushing Frog Face Pundit (don’t tell him I call him that) to do something clever, some tech jadoo, to make the experience pleasurable but you have also be on top of things. Fair nah? Otherwise as they say in the movies, I will have to kill myself, because I will not be able to bear our separation. The grief would reduce me to tears and I would definitely need those Prada sunglasses to hide the pain.
The Pundit says — That Diva woman was always difficult to satisfy!!!! From the beginning she never liked buffering! Or interruptions! Or action without audio! Or worse – audio without action! Actually, there is nothing strange or ajeeb about that unless you are a really kinky lady, right? I mean if you are watching a movie online you want it to be a nice, continuous, smooth rendition until it reaches its ultimate climax. Bas, what more can you ask for hah? The Diva and I have had a lot of maara mari about a lot of things but I concede that she is right about connectivity being the key to the whole affair. I tell you her constant kit-kit is paying off because the woman has me working on a special technology that will make “the experience”, as she calls it, seamless and “pleasurable”. My sincere apologies that I can’t reveal it to you right now otherwise she will say, sala promise bahut karta hai lekin delivery dheela hai! But solid work is being done on that front. Until then, my dear, please help to keep that nag off my back – just make sure you have a good, solid internet connection and I promise your movie Spuuling will be perfect. In return I will buy her the damned Prada sunglasses she is trying to squeeze out of you!
Namaskar! Khuda Hafiz! Until next time!
The Diva and The Pundit